the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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