I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
