Already got asked if we're dating
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize