well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
