eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
