I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
