Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
