I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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