I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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