it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
