playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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