I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
