Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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