i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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