i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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