When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just want to make out with him forever
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
