look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
