ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
