yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
