We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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