My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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