if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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