haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
