Swine flu. Run for my life!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
this just has baby written all over it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
