i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We smell like vodka and hangover
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