i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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