Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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