WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
is wine microwaveable?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
