Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
