if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
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