finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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