Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
farters have to be the big spoon...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
