at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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