why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
