I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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