Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
