I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
