well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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