What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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