I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
