This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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