He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
