If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
