Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
