The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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