Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
