That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
