Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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