you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
it's like heaven, but drunker
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
