belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
