OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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