I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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