ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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