Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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