Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
