there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My vagina is officially offended.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights