Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal