a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.