Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
