It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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