What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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