Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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