In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
