He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
