erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
organizing the empties. That sober.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
