I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i think i have two assholes
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
