Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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