I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
