he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
