just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he was CRYING into my vagina
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
