Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
